Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Breaking the “Frustration” cycle

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

Talking about conflict at work, some of us have micromanaging bosses or aggressive colleagues or an unfavorable work environment. We are so done with these things but other than complaining we do nothing about it. This and many other circumstances lead to frustration. And then what happens? Well, nothing really happens to others. We are the ones who suffer. Frustration, to somewhat extent, can be healthy. It can push us towards our goals. But if it becomes an everyday affair, it becomes toxic and stressful. This frustration will eventually feast on our mental health. We will end up venting our anger on people who are not at fault. Remember, if we do not handle our frustration, we will be defensive against anything and everything and will end up having impaired judgment. So, how to handle frustration: 

1) Find out what triggers our frustration: 
a) S: Status: Do we feel that our status is a threat? 
b) C: Certainty: Are we unsure about our future? 
c) A: Autonomy: Do we think we can’t make our own decisions and we feel we are powerless. 
d) R: Relatedness: Does connecting with people make us feel it is a tall task because we feel they are fake? 

2) Once we figure out the trigger/triggers, let us ask ourselves the true story as to what irritates us. Is it the real story or the story that we have made up in our mind or the things that we exaggerate make us upset? By putting up an inquiry pertaining to our frustration, we can differentiate between reality and made up things in our mind, if any. 

3)Let us work on the things that are in our control. For example if we know that pushing ourselves towards some unrealistic goals may hurt us, let us put a full stop on that. Let us not expect too much from others. Just because we worked for 16 hours for a project, if we are expecting a pat on our shoulder from someone who never appreciates us, the problem lies with us. We know that person. We know he/she would never appreciate. All the same, tell ourselves that we did that because it’s a responsibility we have been assigned to and we would learn a lot of things along with being diligent to our duties. 

4) Let us go ahead and face those uncomfortable conversations. Instead of avoiding the conversations, no matter how uncomfortable they are, let us go ahead, keep calm and talk to those people. Let us engage in a productive discussion and come to a solution. 

5) Let us try considering frustration as something new to learn. Maybe we are frustrated with the fact that someone constantly nags us about some shortcomings. It indeed can be frustrating, but maybe we can try and work on our flaws and grow stronger. We are the masters of our lives. Let us not let frustration seep in and suck the life out of us. Meditation, deep breathing and exercise are also some tools which can help in eliminating frustration from our lives.